First to Fall Read online

"You're right."

  We arrived at the firm just when the clock ticked 9. Atkins was already in his workstation, hunched over his computer, a cup of coffee perched on his table. He raised his head when I entered the office.

  "Hey," he greeted, flashing a dazzling smile. I didn't want to admit it but he had a very beautiful smile. His pearly whites lined in perfect rows. It was a full-on smile, earnest and honest.

  "Good morning," I replied as I took off my gloves and coat.

  "Do you want some coffee?" he offered. "I can make you some."

  "No, thanks. I'm good."

  "I'd like some," Mariz interjected. I forgot about Mariz when Atkins started talking to me. I was too conscious of his presence.

  "Alright, I'll get you some coffee," he said to her. He got up and walked to the pantry, which was in the next room.

  We had a separate place for meals. No food was allowed in the workstation, except for coffee, energy drink, beer or any beverage with enough caffeine to induce a heart attack to a horse. There was also a small closet on one corner of the workstation where we kept some of our clothes. We usually didn't sleep for up to forty-eight hours when the deadline was close. That also meant we couldn't be bothered to go home, shower, and change clothes. Those trivial stuff were taken care off right here.

  I plopped down on my chair and powered up my computer to check my email. That was usually the first thing I did in the morning. But I couldn't help my eyes as they strayed towards Atkins. He was hunched over his computer again, his brows slightly furrowed. I couldn't keep my eyes off him.

  Now that I was observing closely, I could see the dark circles under his eyes. He brought his hand up to rub it, he was tired from the lack of sleep. He took a sip of his coffee. I watched all his movements with fascination.

  There were stubbles dusting his angular jaw which added more masculinity to his look. His lips were just the right shape, not too thin and not too full either. He was gorgeous, no doubt about it.

  It made me wonder if he had a girlfriend. It was hard to believe he didn't have one. With his looks he could make any girl fall for him.

  A wistful sigh escaped my lips. Why did I care if he had a girlfriend, anyway? It wasn't any of my concern. I didn't like him. At least that was what I told myself.

  "He's really cute," Mariz said out of the blue. Even if she didn't mention a name, I knew who she was talking about. "And I know for a fact that you agree with me, based on how many times you've been watching him out of the corner of your eyes all day." She was spot on but I wasn't about to admit that out loud.

  "But he's annoying as hell." I frowned to punctuate my point. I let my shoulders relax on my chair's backrest.

  The guy in question was in an animated discussion with Clyde and Zang. Atkins said something and the three of them laughed like long-time friends trading anecdotes in a bar.

  My phone vibrated, signaling that there was a call. I didn't bother picking it up. It could only be Matt and I didn't want to talk to him now, or ever. But it would do me no good to run away from this. At some point I had to brave it and be done with it. Just not now.

  He had been calling and texting me nonstop, begging me to come home so that we could talk about it like the sensible adults we were. But what was there to talk about? What he did to me was as plain as day. There was only one sensible thing to do— break up with him and cut my losses.

  I moved in to his apartment three years ago. It was mostly his idea, but at that time it felt the right thing to do. For a long time I loved him and I knew he loved me too. I didn't know what I did wrong.

  He was always there for me. He became my comfort blanket, but now he was gone and the blanket was pulled out from under me.

  For a few years we fell into a pattern, which was good at first. But pattern also killed spontaneity and brought in boredom.

  Was that why he cheated on me, because he was bored?

  It was a cold Thursday morning, the thick layer of snow crunched beneath my feet as I walked to the firm. Lukas called for an early morning team meeting. We had another project to work on. He was going to delegate tasks today.

  Everyone was seated on their workstation, except for Lukas. He was standing, the white board stood behind him. Their attention shifted to me as I entered the room.

  "You're late,' Lukas declared, arching up an eyebrow at me.

  "Office hours don't start until 9," I shot back, plopping down my chair.

  "As I was saying, we're going to do a flight ticketing and booking app. It's a rushed project—" Clyde was about to say something when Lukas held up an index finger, effectively shushing him. "I know we don't usually do rushed projects but this one's too good to pass up. The client's a huge airline company."

  Clyde was a man of few words, it would've been nice to hear him speak from time to time.

  Lukas continued on, he explained to us the client's profile and what they needed. He was the head honcho of the firm, mostly in charge of communicating with the clients, pitching ideas, and widening the clientele through his connections. He handed each of us a folder containing all the information we needed to start the project.

  "Zang you're in charge with the storyboard. Georgie, Atkins, you guys are in charge of the prototype and rein in Zang and make sure his ideas are feasible. He always goes overboard."

  Zang rolled his eyes at Lukas and said, "That's okay. Smart people are always misunderstood."

  The meeting adjourned and we started working on it right away. We didn't do rushed projects but this was one of the few exceptions. Developing a software was hard and it took months or even years. It was hard work. A painstaking process that involved a lot of testing and debugging before it was ready for release. And even then we couldn't guarantee everything would work fine. That was why there were always updates and patches. People always assumed we were fairies and could conjure their project out of thin air. It was important to not over-promise and under-deliver.

  Zang, Atkins and I was huddled in one corner of the pantry, brainstorming ideas for the storyboard. I was sitting beside Atkins. We were sitting closer than colleagues usually do. The smell of his spicy cologne wafted in the air. I inhaled the scent, taking notice not to lean in too close and risk looking like a freak sniffing him.

  Good-smelling guys were my weakness. His cologne was exactly how I wanted it to smell. Not too strong but with just the right hint of masculinity. What would it be like to wrap my arms around him and bury my face on his chest?

  "...is going to be tricky. Do you have any suggestions?" Zang was saying but I was only half listening. I didn't know he was talking to me when Atkins pointed it out.

  "Georgie? Are you listening?" Atkins snapped his finger to get my attention. "You're spacing out."

  "Oh, sorry," I mumbled. I could feel a blush creeping up my neck. I had no idea what Zang was talking about.

  "Are you okay?" Atkins touched me lightly on the arm in a concerned gesture. Our skin was in contact for only a few seconds but it was enough to send a warm buzz down to my toes. Thinking that he must have trespassed my personal space, he quickly let go of my arm. But I wish he would've held me longer.

  That night we ate dinner at the pantry. Mariz was in charge of calling for Chinese takeout delivery. Lukas brought out our supply of ice-cold beer and coffee especially for nights like this. Since we were working on a difficult project in such a short amount of time, every minute counted. That meant working well into the night and until the sun rose. Who knew when I'd be back in my apartment? I already had a one week supply of clothes in the firm's closet.

  I was glad for the extra workload because I didn't want to spend my time alone in my apartment. That place was too silent and it always reminded me of how Matt wasn't on my side anymore. It made me think and I didn't want to.

  Lukas, Zang, Clyde and Mariz finished with their food and coffee first. They said they'd get back to their work. I was still eating my moo shu chicken and Atkins was still sipping coffee on the table. We were the o
nly ones left in the pantry.

  We were sitting side by side again, my elbow brushed against his arm as I brought my chopstick to my mouth. "Sorry," I mumbled.

  "S'okay," he said between sips of coffee. "Georgie?"

  "Yeah?"

  He brought his hand to my face. At first I thought he was going to cup my face and kiss me but then his thumb brushed at the corner of my lips. "You got something on your face."

  Deeply mortified by the way my thoughts were headed, I quickly grabbed a napkin and started dabbing profusely around my mouth. "God, I'm so sorry. I'm usually not this messy of an eater."

  A deep chuckle rumbled low in his throat. It was the kind of laugh that was so full of mirth and warmth.

  "You don't need to apologize. And you can stop wiping your face. I'm pretty sure your cheek has been wiped to within an inch of its life."

  An awkward silence followed.

  "So," he said after clearing his throat. "Tell me something I don't know about you, Georgie."

  I chewed my chicken first before answering. Wouldn't want to gross him out with half-chewed food, would we?

  "Like what?"

  "I dunno." He shrugged. "Start with the basics, maybe. What's your life story? Where did you grow up?"

  "My life story is not that interesting."

  "Try me." His body was angled towards me, his attention focused on me. He was looking straight in my eyes. Alluring, dark brown eyes framed with lashes so long and thick it was enough to make a girl sigh in dreamy bliss.

  "Okay." I figured there was nothing to lose in humoring him. "I lived my whole life in New York. I am originally from Bronx but I moved to Manhattan when I studied in university and I lived here ever since."

  "What about your life story?"

  "My life's pretty boring. I don't have a life story."

  "Sure you do. We all have one."

  I guess my life story was this: my bastard of a boyfriend cheated on me with his officemate. It would make for an interesting discussion but I didn't want him to throw a pity party for me. I was already throwing a fairly great party myself.

  "Oh yeah? Why don't you tell me yours?" I dared him.

  "I spent my earlier years in a small town in Germany. But I moved to Michigan when I was ten. My dad's German and my mom's American."

  I was fairly impressed because I couldn't hear the accent in his voice.

  "So what brought you here to New York?"

  He made another sip of his coffee before answering. "New scenery, mostly. I like to travel a lot and I've always wanted to come here. But what I would really love to do is see the beautiful places in this city. And I don't mean just the place tourists would visit. I want to see it through the eyes of someone who knows the city like the back of her hand. Someone like you."

  One of my eyebrows arched up. "Are you asking me to be your tour guide?"

  His shoulders rose up in a shrug. "Maybe. If you're not busy?"

  I mulled over the thought in my head. The thought of touring New York with Atkins sent a pleasant flutter of butterflies in my stomach. It had been a while since I last went out into the city to just enjoy.

  "Sure," I agreed. "Just tell me when you're free. There's this place I want you to see. It's my favorite place in all of New York."

  It was his turn to raise his eyebrows. "This city is a beautiful place. If that's your favorite place in all of New York then it's gotta be great, right?"

  A pleased smile tugged at my lips. "Yep, just wait until you see it." Then I remembered the question I was eagerly waiting for an answer. "You haven't answered my question. What's your life story?"

  "I'm always searching for things that make me happy."

  "Like what?"

  "Like this job. It's not easy but you do it because you love it. But I know I'm still missing something, something essential."

  I took time with chewing my food and thinking about what he said before speaking again. "How would you know if you've found it?"

  "I'd now it when I see it."

  The next thing that happened could only be described as magic. My body moved all on its own. Like it had always been meant to lean in closer to him and meet my lips with his. His kiss was surprisingly soft and warm and firm. It was just a peck. But then my hands grew hungry to touch him. My hands splayed against his hard chest, feeling the firm muscle and sinew beneath his shirt. His arms snaked around my waist and rested on the small of my back.

  We were kissing harder now, his teeth nipping at my bottom lip. A soft moan escaped my lips. This was all too blissful. It felt right to be in his arms.

  Someone cleared their throat and I jumped and broke out of his embrace. We both turned to the direction of the sound. It was Clyde and he was looking uncomfortable as hell. He saw everything.

  "Hey Clyde, what's up?" Atkins's voice didn't have the trace of panic I was feeling. He was calm like he was used to getting caught kissing a girl on a daily basis.

  "Lukas said he needs you two in his office."

  "Okay," Atkins said, looking so fucking Zen. "We'll be there."

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Atkins

  I rarely screw up but when I do, I screw up royally. Kissing Georgie wasn't my brightest idea but it surely felt the most glorious. Still, it was a stupid thing to do. To add insult to the injury, Clyde caught us in a rather compromising situation. But guys have this unspoken code— you don't throw your bro under the bus. Even though Clyde saw me and Georgie lip-locking, I knew he wouldn't rat me out.

  But it was a very different story with Georgie. The atmosphere between us had been very awkward after that kiss. It was all my fault. I couldn't help myself. She sat there, with wide, chocolate brown eyes and so damn kissable lips. So close yet so far away— yes I knew how cheesy this was. Those lips were going to be the death of me.

  Let me get this straight— I didn't regret kissing her. But I regretted the tension it brought on our still fragile relationship. Which was why I was surprised when she still agreed to tour me around the city after that kiss. In fact I was on my way to picking her up in her apartment.

  She was sitting on the front steps of the building, her chin resting on her hand. Her long hair cascaded down her back. It caught the beam of the sun and shone in the afternoon light. She waved her hand when she spotted my car. She bounded down the steps and into the passenger seat. Put her seatbelt on.

  "Hi," she greeted me. She looked rather relaxed this afternoon which was a far cry from when we were at the firm yesterday. The unease in her eyes diminished significantly.

  "Hey. You look good in that dress." And it was true. Her yellow floral dress suited her perfectly.

  "Thanks!" She beamed, tucking her hair under her ear.

  "Are you ready to show me your most favorite place in New York?"

  "Yeah, about that. The thing is I kinda lied." Her eyes had the mischievous glint of a child about to confess to doing something naughty. "You see I have two favorite places."

  "No problem, then. We'll be sure to visit those two places. So, where to?"

  "First in our itinerary is the Marionette cafe."

  I rarely go to cafes but here we were, in the Marionette cafe, with menus in our hands.

  "This isn't the kind of place you expected, is it?"

  "I honestly didn't know what to expect. And this place is really... homey." And it was the truth.

  I scanned the vicinity of the place, noticed the colors of the walls. One side of the cafe's wall was a black brick while the other side was painted a pastel blue. Fairy lights were strung around the wide window frames. Framed quote posters were mounted on the wall. One poster said “YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL, STRANGER”. My eyes roved back to her when I read the quote.

  There were also framed pictures of iconic places around the world on the walls. One was an aerial view of the Statue of Liberty while another one was a wide-angled shot of Tokyo streets.

  "Right?" she affirmed excitedly. "I really love being here. The cinnamon bun is really great and so
is their latte."

  "I only drink my coffee black," I said.

  Her forehead creased and she said, "Are you one of those men who are too macho for anything but black coffee?" Her lips jutted up in a pout.

  "Don't do that."

  "Don't do what?"

  "Don't pout your lips."

  "Or what?" Her eyes narrowed in challenge.

  "Or I'll bite it."

  The playful glint in her eyes was gone. It was replaced with wariness and caution.

  Shit. I didn't want to come on too strong. Where was my filter when I needed it?

  "Sorry," I said in a quiet voice.

  "Okay, um, so, what do you want to get?" her voice was small, embarrassed.

  I wanted to punch myself in the nuts for yet another stupid thing to say. But what can I say? She brought out the brazen person in me. I wanted her. Badly. Would it hurt to be honest with that?

  "I think I'm gonna try the latte after all. Contrary to what you think, I'm not too macho for latte." I tried to insert a joking tone in my voice to lighten up the mood. And it seemed to work because she said, "Glad to hear that. I promise you won't regret it."

  We got her usual order of cinnamon bun and latte. She was right, the latte really did taste great. And the buns were warm and soft. We were silent for a few beats, happily munching on our food.

  "You never told me why you liked this place a lot."

  She took a long sip of her drink before answering. "Just like what you said, this places feels really homey. And the food is great. But the Marionette didn't become my favorite place until a few weeks ago." She paused for effect, making me want to ask what happened.

  "Why? What happened a few weeks ago?"

  "A guy proposed to his girlfriend here. He requested the staff to play a Smiths song on the speaker and then he knelt down and popped the question. I envied the girl. She was so lucky to have the guy. I could've been that girl too. I was so close until... I wasn't." She shrugged. "That's life, I guess. One moment you're up and then the next you're down and crawling."

  A single tear fell down her cheek. She quickly wiped it but I noticed it.